Day 106: I think I have finally achieved some insight into my ongoing problem with work, and it is inspired by a Doctor of the Church, St. Francis de Sales: "Don't lose any opportunity, however small, of being gentle toward everyone...for your part, work diligently, but gently. I say 'gently' because a tense diligence is harmful both to our heart and to our task and is not really diligence, but overeagerness and anxiety."
It is the overeagerness and anxiety I hate, not the work itself. Lightbulb!
The rehab counsellor from OTIP came over and we worked on my return-to-work plan. Donna is in favour of a gradual building-up of -- ooh, she used a really good word that I can't remember, but meaning "strength" -- which would mean 1/3 work starting in February, then full-time work in September.
In the meantime, I am going to do volunteer work, like driving for the Canadian Cancer Society starting on Fridays. (It will cost a bundle getting the car up to snuff, but my birthday is coming soon -- send $$$! I'm not proud!) This is in addition to the volunteer work I do now with St. Leo's and a few other things, like preparing for the LLC Concert in May.
I wonder what my work life will be like now that I am becoming aware of the benefits of "gentle diligence?" Has to be better than "agitated avoidance." God bless us every one!
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